Purple Is His Eye, And Broke Is Jimmy's Pelvis

Purple is Jim's swollen eye, and broke is Jim's pained Pelvis,

Jim got into a fight with a guy, named Big Alpha Elvis,

It was over a girl Jim tried to steal,

But, Jim offered no personal appeal,

Now Jim is mending up, staying with 3rd cousin Melvis.

BULLIES, EYEBALLS AND GOLD

I put an earring in my left ear,

It was gold, and financially dear,

But along came this Frankie,

He gave my earring a yankey,

The pain made my right eyeball tear.

POSSUMS GET INSIDE

There was a big old opossum, swimming in my bath tub,

His presence didn't bother me, after he gave a back rub,

It was an eye opening find,

Realizing possums were kind,

Then he bit off my ear, because he was hungry for grub.

THE MORALITY OF SPIDER SQUASHING

Squashed a big spider,

Random act of violence,

Regrets, found babies.

ITCHY RICHEY AND MY KITTY

I  had this fish, his name was Richie,

He complained that he was itchy,

The cat offered a claw,

Gave Ritchie a naw,

Now my Ritchie is really twitchy. 

MARNIE MADE A MOVE WHILE FISTING

My ex-friend, Marnie doesn't live here anymore,

Marnie moved to an apartment over a store,

Marnie and I were very tight,

But we had an ugly fight,

When Marnie left, Marnie fisted my front door.

MY CHIN HURTS AND I SMELL, ALLEGEDLY

I think I hurt my little chin,

When I got smacked by the 1st violin,

Little Edith Bower,

Told me to shower,

And, if I didn't quit sticking she'd hit me again.