LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
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Showing posts with label
Medical
.
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Showing posts with label
Medical
.
Show all posts
Tuesday, December 3, 2024
SPAM JAM BENNY
Benny went to a foot doctor, to have all his toes dejammed,
This was soon on social media, now Benny's getting spamed,
Spam was one of Benny's big fears,
Toe jams has brought Benny to tears,
Now, everywhere that Benny goes, his jams will get him slammed.
Thursday, April 4, 2024
THE FAT WORMS
Danny went to the special foot doctor to check out his feet,
His feet were getting real skinny, although he'd often overeat,
Seems Danny had worms that ate fat,
Would be great, but where they're at,
Doc moved the worms to Danny's belly hoping for a repeat.
Tuesday, February 27, 2024
ATTACK OF THE WOLVERINE
The vicious wolverine bit off my middle toe,
I doubt I can get another mid-toe to grow,
He ripped out my lungs and face,
Fast, like he was in a race,
He ran off with my spleen, dragging it through the snow,
Thursday, February 1, 2024
RASH AND HASH
Poor, crazy Jimmy spent a ton of cash,
To get rid of a contagious, rare rash,
It started on his toes,
Went up to his nose,
It went to his brain, and turned it to hash.
P.S.
Poor Jimmy
Aliens Strike Again👾
Tuesday, January 30, 2024
THE CHIP AND THE DUMPSTER DIVER
The authorities insisted I was insane,
They insisted, and put a chip into my brain,
The chip made me much less smart,
I push a grocery cart,
Collecting my treasure down each road, street and lane.
Wednesday, January 24, 2024
I ITCHED WHERE THEY STICHED
I went to.the doctor's office to have them take out stiches,
It cost me every coin I got, I cleaned out my britches,
They covered my wound with a patch,
Said it was infected, don't scratch,
I said I had to scratch and scratch, because the dang thing itches.
Saturday, December 23, 2023
MOZART'S TIT SINGS
There was a little titmouse chirping in a tree,
The little titmouse chirped and chirped, a Mozart melody,
It was the Turkish March in C,
He chirped repeatedly,
Now that tune repeats in my head, and my brain cells can't break free.
Friday, September 1, 2023
MY BODY PARTS 4 SALE 💰
My bill collectors suggested, I sell my kidney and my spleen,
They said they were trying to help me, and not trying to be mean,
So, I sold a kidney and two toes,
Paid some bills to ease my woes,
Then I got an infection, because the doctor was not so clean.
Sunday, August 20, 2023
THE BRAIN SCIENTIST OUTSMARTED ME
A famous brain scientist showed up, just outside of my front door,
The smarty wanted my brain tissues, 3-4 pounds, nothing more,
I sold my tissue for a thousand bucks,
Then went looking for pickup trucks,
I couldn't afford one with an engine, should have sold my brains for more.
Wednesday, August 9, 2023
MY TOESIES LAST STAND
My two biggest toes were all mold,
My three little toes, shivered cold,
I queried my disease,
Regarding frozen toesies,
Chop, chop, was what my dire future, foretold.
Sunday, July 23, 2023
DOCTOR
My doctor said, doctors once cured people by making them bleed,
I replied that modern doctors make people bleed, because of greed,
My doctor didn't look happy,
And he gave me a face slappy,
Then he billed me for the slap; said that therapy, I need.
Thursday, March 16, 2023
PLIGHT OF THE TUMBLED ME
Down the mountain I skied with fantastic skill
And the mountain I skied was no bunny hill,
Then came a horrible stumble,
I took a half mile tumble,
I work o.t. to pay my hospital bill.
Thursday, January 20, 2022
WORM CIRCLES, URINE AND BLEACH
Circles, circles, circles on my eyelids and my nose,
I figured I had ringworm, and I got it from my cloths,
So I asked my favorite teach,
He said bath in urine mixed with bleach,
Now I have no skin or hair, from my head down through my toes.
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