THREE PINES AND ONE BAT CAMPGROUND

I went camping at a campground called, Three Pines and One Bat,

I saw the three dead pines, but worried, where was the bat at,

Then, ouch what the darn, heck?

 The bat vented my neck,

Out poured my blood, the dead pines turned green, I died where I sat.

THE SHOVEL, PIGS AND OGRES LIMERICK

In the ogre village next door,

They are preparing for war,

I stole one of their pigs,

And, A shovel that digs,

Now they're coming to even the score.

BEES IN THE BUNKER FREEZE BRAINS

I was down in the bunker, and was attacked by three bees,

One flew in my ear, the others attacked my weak knees,

I fell to the floor, 

And what is worse, more,

The bee bite in my ear gave me a brain freeze.

KIM AND THE KILLER WHALE

There was an orca in the community pool,

I didn't hop in because I've never been a fool,

But my best friend, Kim

Went in for a swim,

They both teased me for being scarred, and that was cruel.

THE DIET AND DEFIBRUILLLATOR BLUES

They used the defibrillator, to start Benny's heart back up,

He now must lower cholesterol, so no more bacon cheese steaks, for sup,

Although he almost died,

Old Benny had his pride,

He brags about eating greasy chips, while watching TV with his pup.

I WAS DEFEATED BY ZOMBIES

It was dark outside when the zombies came,

I held them back with a candle flame,

When the flame went out,

I had a scream and a shout,

Zombies ate my feet, now I walk real lame.

ODE TO THE MONSTERS OF BLING

Watch out for monsters, they'll steal all your bling,

They ripped out my piercing and gnawed off my ring,

And my bracelet of gold,

Was ripped off and then sold,

And my pocket gold tick tock was my last golden thing.