VALENTINE'S DAY + BUGS = NO SMOOCHING

Ray wanted to smooch with his girlfriend Mandy,

So, on Valentine's Day he gave his girlfriend candy,

The candy was all full of bugs,

Of course no kisses or hugs,

Instead, his ex-girlfriend is smooching with Andy.
 

I HAVE TOO MANY MEAN VALENTINES

How do you know if you have too many valentines?

When together they confront you, that's one of the signs,

And, when you have poison in your belly

From your eggs, toast and jelly,

Then, they bury you out back in the pines.