THE EMPTY PAPER CHASE

I just got the highest, bestest grade, I've ever gotten on a paper at my high school,

It was a very solid "C", I figured my geezer teacher gave me a "C" for "cool",

Except for my name, I left the entire page blank,

I figured my grade always ended up in the tank,

But teacher wrote, "better a page be blank, than trying to decipher ramblings of a fool". 

FINGER STUBS AND MY RECKONING WITH CHOPIN

Chopin cut off all my fingers because of the noise I made,

He said no amount of his lessons would give my talent aid,

Now, with just my 10 finger stubs,

I work at the gym giving rubs,

I fixed Chopin; the last lesson he gave me, I never paid.