PLANNING FOR BACON AND FRIENDS

I went outside and saw the great blue sky,

I watched my neighbor's, big, fat piggies fly, 

I hoped one would crash,

Then its body I'd stash,

And have a neighborhood, thick bacon fry.

WHY ARE MY PIGS SO SKINNY LIMERICK

Why are my pigs so skinny and so small?
Everyone else's pigs are so fat and so tall,
My pigs are food spoiled,
With soft eggs all boiled,

No garbage from food courts at a mall.

121921

I RAISED THREE PIGS NAMED JASON

I raised three pigs named Jason,
They spent all their time horse-racing.
One day they went bold,
Their houses they sold,
They lost big while their pony was pacing.

The Jason’s were three brash little pigs,
They lived in really comfortable digs,
But, they bet all their money,
On a pony named Sony,
Now, they’re street vendors selling whiskey and cigs.

THREE PIGS IN A PICKLE

A giant pickle laid on the ground,
Worms hollowed it out but, the walls were still sound,
Then, three little pigs,
Made the pickle their digs,
With rent being two pence and one pound.  

MAGGIE THE PIG THAT SUED

Maggie was a pig, who liked to really sue,
If you looked at her wrong your court date was due,
She would haul you in,
Accuse you of sin,
And take all that you accrue.

Maggie was an evil pig,
She liked to pick you pocket,
If you accused her of her gig,
She'd sue you on the court docket.

Maggie the pig was a schemer,
She was a conniving dreamer,
She would take you to court,
Then there she’d report,
You owed her your blood and your femur.

FLIPPER THE PIG

THE CULTURAL PIG

Flipper the pig was an odd sort of swine,

He never drank spirits except for French wine,

He listened to Bach,

And easy-listening rock,

While, he complained of pig culture decline.

 

CHICKEN CAM HAM

There once was a chicken named Cam,
She laid eggs that were all full of ham,
But, the pigs on the farm,
Said ham-eggs did them harm,
So, Cam laid eggs full of blueberry jam.

THERE WAS A MAN NAMED PERKINS LIMERICK

There once was a man named Perkins,
He loved eating sour Gherkins,
He ate so many one night,
His lips puckered up tight,
It took days to fix his mouth work-ins.

A man named Perkins owned a pet store,
He sold little pigs, but nothing more,
He tried selling big hogs,
They were heavy like logs,

And that made his back mighty soar.