I GOT SPELLED 3Xs

There were three witches sitting up in an ancient, willow tree,

They were hocus pocus, casting evil spells down upon me,

The first, made me a mad dog,

The second, made me a frog,

The third witch made me a pirate, and I could only half see.

THE VAMPIRE WHO WANTED TO BE REGULAR

I once knew a vampire, who mixed his blood with prune juice,

He said that he did it, to keep his bowels loose,

He said in year 607,

He got tossed out of heaven,

And permanently injured his caboose.