GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE BEDS

Goldilocks went to a hotel, and rented a bedroom, with a bed,

But, she couldn't sleep on it, because the pillow hurt her head,

She asked, and got another room,

Fine bed, but next door was a boxed boom,

Next room, nice bed, but she had to share with a hoodie, some called, Red. 

DON'T DRINK THE WATER ON MARS

Dan went to visit the pyramids of mars on vacation,

It was a hot dry place, that alien nation,

As the day got even hotter,

Dan just had to drink the water,

Whoops, there were only pay toilets at the space station.

 

REINCARNATION, PUTS THE UNIVERSE RIGHT

I have a pet protozoa named Drudge,

He once was a powerful judge,

But Drudge was so corrupt,

His term ended, abrupt,

Now he's a microbe living in small smudge.

TALK ABOUT A BAD SANTA

Santa's at the beach and he's having lots of summer fun,

He left Mrs. Santa at home; he's with a special hon,

But an age difference he fears,

About 20,000 years,

And Santa's new young lady, shows she's baking him a bun.

DON'T FEED THE BEARS, ESPECIALLY YOUR HUMAN PARTS

When you see a bear, I know you'll have to stroke his nose,

But don't be afraid, when it seems his sharp teeth grows,

When you walk away from the bear, do not feel alarm,

Just because you may notice, you are missing half your arm,

Being friendly with a bear, will lead to tears,and woes.

IGNORE THE CHEESE AND GET THE BIG ONE

When trunk slammers go north,  the locals assume their station,

They always smile and act real nice, or suffer a tip cessation, 

They're always pleasant, till out the door,

When a slammer cuts cheese, they just ignore,

Locals always offer lots of help, for slammers like to tip ration.

I NEED AN INTERVENTION

I'm trying to get over my addiction to snow,

It's hard to get over when it's everywhere that I go,

I need an intervention,

For my re-addiction prevention,

Gift me a trip to Cancun, I'll go.