WHEN THE SNOW BLOWS

When the snow blows and cold comes through your cracks,
You stuff newspaper in the holes to keep warm your shacks,
Shove up the stove with wood,
When it's red hot, it is good,
It is then time to wait 'till the frost bite attacks.

When the snow blows it makes hurt on my feet,
I run out of food and have nothing to eat,
And when the snow blows,
I'll have to cut off my toes,
But, at least I will have some fresh meat.

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WHEN I MET AN AMOEBA MONSTER LIMERICK

I had a really bad, bad fright,
It was a weird monster I met one night,
It was a green Amoeba,
It's name was Reba,
I think my eyeballs weren't screwed in right. 

ALL POTS ARE THE SAME

My coffee maker went to pot,
I bought it cheap to save a lot,
I went back to the store,
Bought one for much more,
I thought it would be better; it’s not.

BEWARE THE WRATH OF THE ROBOTIC BUTLER

My robot-butler gave me such a scare,
I fired him and I thought he wouldn't care
But on my brand-new cell phone,
He called up a drone,
Then I got dive-bombed from up in the air.

MY WALL STREET JOB IS IN THE TOILET

I decided to work on Wall Street,
To prepare I ate only raw meat,
At first I felt like a lion,
Then, I swore I was dyin',
Vomit paid for my exchange seat. 

THE FARMER IN THE DELL 2010-Limerick

There was a farmer who lived in a dell,
For him things did not go very well,
His pigs all had fleas,
The winter froze out his bees,
The farmer finally decided to sell.

The farmer in the dell owed money to the bank,
He could never repay it so, he was in the tank,
His stuff would not grow,
His cows starved in the snow,
His wife left saying he had himself to thank,

MICHIGAN COLLEGE FOOTBALL

In college football it must be said,
For Michigan, Michigan State is dread,
When the Spartans started to advance,
The U of M did not have a chance,
Between these two schools the rankings have spread.

LEADFOOT PENNY GOT CAUGHT

Penny traveled down the road too fast,
And, became a part of the criminal caste,
So, she got a big fine,
But, Penny didn't whine,
For she violated many times in the past.

FISHING ON ICE ISLAND

I went ice fishing one sunny spring day,
I walked out on the ice on the bay,
But, when I turned around,
I was deep water bound,
My ice island and I floated away.

THE TAXES PAST DUE LIMERICK

My taxes are past due,
Now, I'm in deep stew,
And, I'm feeling blue,
There's no one to sue,
My accountant, to the Cayman Islands he flew.

JIM'S HOMEMADE PIZZA

Jim's homemade pizza didn't taste so good,
It tasted like fungus on wet firewood,
It was outhouse-like smelly,
And, made sharp pains in Jim's belly,
It seems the recipe Jim misunderstood.

THE NEW YEAR RECESSION LIMERICK

Now it is again January first,
We hope for good but, fear the worst,
Things aren't so sunny,
In a world with no money,
I'm afraid the world is cursed.