WHAT'S SITTING IN MY WILLOW, WITH A CRUMPET AND A TEA?

There was an Anglo-Saxon, sitting in my willow tree,

He was nibbling on a crumpet, and sipping on some tea,

I asked him if his crumpet tasted good,

He said, "it tastes like wormy, willow wood",

I didn't ask him about his drink; I thought I'd let it be.

NO TEAM SPIRIT ON FOOTBALL SUNDAY

I cannot get my team spirit in gear,

It's football on Sunday and I have no cheer,

No ants in my pants, 

To dance and shout chants,

Because the love of my life forgot beer.