LITTLE THIEF EDGAR

Little thief Edgar stole things starting with the letter "T"

Be it a trinket, trombone, tether ball or TV,

The item's value he didn't care,

He stole for the dare,

But thieving led him to profitability.
 

HOW I WIDEN MY HIPS

Outside it was lightning and rainy,

And I didn't feel like being brainy,

So I got out some chips,

To widen my big hips,

Watched Housewives, while eyeballs got strainy.

NO TEAM SPIRIT ON FOOTBALL SUNDAY

I cannot get my team spirit in gear,

It's football on Sunday and I have no cheer,

No ants in my pants, 

To dance and shout chants,

Because the love of my life forgot beer.

GETTING A CLEAR TV SIGNAL

My cable picture is pixeled,

My dish picture's all haze,                

My antennae big booster,          

Boosted my TV with a blaze,

Now, after all of my trouble,

My house lies out in burnt rubble,

It’s a reality show that my neighbors may gaze.