THE TATTOO

To scare my spouse, pets and kids, when I am feeling the blue,

I went to the barber and bought me a scorpion tattoo,

Its in the middle of my forehead,

And, I gave it a human name, Fred,

I showed the kids, and they started laughing, I cried, boohoo.

THE MUG OF A BUG

I told my barber, I'm not hugged, because my haircut is a big disgrace,

The barber looked me in my big eye, and said, the problem was in my face,

He said, you can't get a kiss, kiss hug,

With the the face of a beetle bug,

The barber sent me to his cousin, who has a plastic surgery place.

MARS? DON'T GO THERE

I traveled to Mars, and there wasn't much scenery there,

Just a sickly coconut tree and a small koala bear,

No place good to eat,

No one served fresh meat,

There was a cheap, beauty shop, where they washed and permed my hair.

BEAR CUT

I moved to Clare Michigan, to be a cutter of hair,

Things were going very well, until in walks a Clare bear,

I cut some hair off the top,

Then the big bear yelled, "Stop!",

I wanted to cut much more, but I didn't think I should dare.

TRINA AND THE HAIR DRYER SAGA

Trina used a big hair dryer to dry her runny nose,

She burnt up her nose hairs, the ashes fell upon her clothes,

Her fancy white blouse was stained black,

So Trina slipped into her shack,

Trina changed to a clean blouse, and clipped in her hair, two bows.

TINSEL TOES THE BEAR

The bear put shiny tinsel on his toes,

Wherever he travels, the tinsel goes,

No one will dare,

Making fun of that bear,

Or, they be counting their multiple woes.