THE BIG RACCOON ATE SUPPER

The raccoon and I knew that the near future would reveal,

Which one of us would become the other's evening meal,

I through hard fists in the fight,

The raccoon did scratch and bite,

After supper, the racoon said I was tender, like veal.

GOATS ON THE WATER ATTACK

My trailer was surrounded by mean, billy goats,

They came ashore at the lakefront, in motor boats,

I knew I couldn't win,

As they chewed the tin,

They ate the trailer, and stuff I stored in my totes.

PET PARK, BAD SHARK, DOGGY BARK

I got bit by a nasty old shark,

In the wading pool at the pet park,

But, there was a doggy,

He looked after, poor me,

The dog chased off the shark with one bark.

NO.TRESSPASSING UNLESS THERE'S A BEAR

My neighbors and I signed some treaties, 

No one can trespass with their feeties,

Unless chased by a bear,

Then no one will care,

If chased, you'll wish you had your Wheaties.

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THE RAVE SCOUT AND THE BEAR

I had a real bad scare,

When I was eaten by that bear,

He ate me arms, he ate me legs,

For those appendages, I now need pegs,

On that night that I would rue,

I was in the green forest, sky dark blue,

I was scouting for a place to rave,

When I came upon a big bear cave,

I was a rave scout, it paid the bills,

If I could provide the ravers thrills,

I figured the bear would provide great stills,

And, more excitement if there were kills, 

I thought that first I should explore,

It would be easy, there was no door

Methinks myself a cunning knave,

When I sneaked up on that big bear cave,  

Then, the bear came out with a pleasant smile,

So, we both stood grinning for a while,

Alas, he did smite me with his claws,

And, ripped off my limbs with his drooling jaws,

Finally, he left me with my stumps,

Lurking into the forest with grumbles and grumps,

And, as I lied there awaiting death,

I thought boy, that bear had real bad breath.  

A SNEAKY STYLE INSPIRED FROM A BIG HAIR PILE

I came across a pile of scat all full of hairs,

It was an enormous pile which gave me the scares,

So, I backtracked thru the woods,

As quiet as I coulds,

You have to be sneaky when you live amongst bears.

MY DOG HATES SWISS CHARD OR, IS IT JUST ME

I had a pet doggy named Fred,

He became vicious when he wasn't fed,

But, when I fed him Swiss chard,

He bit me real hard,

So hard I bled out and went dead.