HOW TO MAKE LIMERICK PIE

In order to make limerick pie,
You must kiss a tadpole on the eye,
There’s rhyme, but no reason,
They are for the ear pleasin’
It’s stupid, so just don’t ask why?

A BEAR AND A BIGFOOT PLAYED TETHERBALL

A bear and a Bigfoot played tetherball,
The Bigfoot won because he was so tall,
The bear was a soar loser,
And, sour mash boozer,
The bear swallowed the big foot and all.

TO A SPOUSE LIMERICK

What a wicked wooly beastie,
She licks her plate at every feastie,
She sleeps with a cat and a dog,
I sleep outside on a log,
I guess that she likes me the leastie.

ANOTHER STUPID LIMERERICK ABOUT LIMERICKS

A limerick pie is nothing more,
Than stringing words together for,
A little fun,
Maybe a pun,
Or, some wisdom at the core.

I DEEMED MY BEER NUTS TO BE FAULTY

I deemed my beer nuts to be faulty,
They were not sweet but were salty,
My nuts in the bag,
Had a misleading tag,
So my snack time I put on halty.

BARRY THE COMIC WITH BRONCHITIS LIMERICK

Barry was a comic with bronchitis so bad,
His hacking though his monologue made everyone sad,
His jokes would have been very funny,
But distracted by his hacks and nose so runny,
When the monologue was over we were glad.

A NANTUCKET LIMERICK

Sometimes you feel you should write rhymes with Nantucket,
I thought so today and then I said "Duck It",
Who likes the East anyway?
I will visit not stay,
I'd rather be home with my beer in a bucket.

JIM SLIPPED AND FELL ON SOME ICE

Jim slipped and fell on some ice,
Ground contact did not feel real nice,
When he got to his feet,
He felt a pain in his seat,
In his back pocket was a key chain device.

MR. WILLIAMS HAD A NOSE HAIR LIMERICK

Mr. Williams had a nasal hair,
It was a foot long so many people would stare,
He went to Nantucket,
To find a barber to cut it,
But, now his nose hair has become a nose pair.

A BAD LIMERICK

I made a limerick up last week,
Its rhymes were solid but rhythms weak,
It wasn’t funny,
Or sad or sunny,
And, its wisdom you would not seek.

JASON WAS THE LIMERICK KING

Jason was the limerick king,
He could rhyme about anything,
He was good with the rhyme,
But his time was a crime,
So he never had any bling.

JASON TRIED TO WRITE MUSIC VERSE

Jason tried to write music verse,
But, each revision sounded worse,
His love unrequited,
Got no one excited,
He became a registered nurse.

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I WENT FISHING FOR STEELHEAD THIS SPRING

They were coming up the rivers to bed,
I had one big one take the hook,
On fishing he wrote the book,
He got away, I got wet, enough said.

THE SATIRICAL LIMERICK

The limerick man wrote a limerick in jail,
It was about the high cost of bail,
The judge read it twice,
Raised the bail up thrice,
So, the limerick man still sits on his tail.

A FILLING LOST

It's very chilling,
I lost a filling,
Now when I eat it hurts,
Because of the billing,
A dentist ain't thrilling,
I'll just cringe when I eat deserts.

SOMEONE MIXED TOMATO JUICE WITH THEIR BEER LIMERICK

Someone mixed tomato juice with their beer,
They had to drink it 'cause money was dear,
It tasted just fine,
A bit like red wine,
But, the vomit tasted awfully queer.