WHEN THE MICROBES AIN'T DEAD

Grandma does not cook the food she prepares, until all the microbes are dead,

That's what dinner guests ponder on the toilet; that's what's going through their head.

Why, to grandma's house go?

When her cooking brings woe?

For some, it's an emergency ride, and a month in a hospital bed.

POOR PUTTY CAT

I spread some tuna on a stick,

But it fell off before I could lick,

The fish drips hit the ground,

And without making a sound,

The cat ate it and then he got sick.

PETER PIG WAS TAINTED, AND PORCELAIN BOWLS GOT PAINTED

Peter Pig was ground into sample sausages, down the street at Vinny's Store,

The customers sampled Peter Pig, until Peter was no more,

The samples caused symptoms like the flu,

Vinny's customers threatened to sue,

Most had underwear accidents, before making it out the door.