UNCLE LEE: LOCKED IN FOR POOL

You always knew when Uncle Lee was locked in for pool,

Because he'd purse his pretty lips, and let slip some drool,

Then a victim you would be,

If you took on Uncle Lee,

He'd finish by sinking your balls, and take you to school.

BACON GREASE SHORTAGE TANKS MICHIGAN ECONOMY

I got a card from Michigan, and this is what it said,

That everyone in Michigan, no longer ate fried bread,

A bacon grease shortage was the blame,

Canola oil, don't taste the same,

Bait shops worry arteries won't plug, then our worms won't get fed.