MY IGNORANT EGO AND PARTY CHICKS

I went to an uptown, fancy party to pick up some classy chicks, 

There was a group of cute girls, who said I was one of their top picks,

They got me to dance in the town square,

Wearing just my tight white under ware,

They called the cops, now I'm staring at a steel door, and walls made of bricks.

MY NEW MUSIC HOBBY

I bought me some records that they call LP,

They make lots of noise, which makes a happy me,

I heard a trumpet toot, toot,

And, the peep, peep of a flute,

Then someone was singing, but they were off key.

HOMELESS AND LOOKING FOR A STABLE RELATIONSHIP

I'm due to make a house payment, but I've got a fun joke to play,

I'm not going to make the payment, by the scheduled payment day,

I felt real lucky, and of course,

Bet my payment on a quarter horse,

I will try to move into the stable, if the horse says I may.