HOMELESS AND LOOKING FOR A STABLE RELATIONSHIP

I'm due to make a house payment, but I've got a fun joke to play,

I'm not going to make the payment, by the scheduled payment day,

I felt real lucky, and of course,

Bet my payment on a quarter horse,

I will try to move into the stable, if the horse says I may.

POLO FACE

I went to play polo and go poloed in my face

It hurt really bad, and I got a face brace,

I looked underneath,

And out dropped all my teeth,

And I thought boy, I've got a court case.

I ONCE BECAME SO PARANOID

I once became so paranoid,
That I stopped eating glue,
Because I thought it might contain,
A horse or two I knew,

I once became so paranoid,
I thought my goldfish might attack,
I was so afraid I wouldn't clean his jar,
And, found him lying on his back,    

I once became so paranoid,
I thought the sun would rise no more,
So, I bought ten thousand light bulbs,
And, cleaned out the light bulb store.