WHY I HAVE NO CHAIRS LIMERICK

My relatives eat just pasta and beans,
Hence, in my family there aren't any leans,
So when one sits on a chair,
The weight it won't bear,
I'd buy more chairs but, I've run out of means.

112221

I WENT TO CHEBOYGAN TO BUY GREENS

I went to Cheboygan to buy me some greens,
I also bought carrots, kohlrabi and beans,
But, I tell you no fake,
I got a bad belly ache,
Seems, eating veggies is not in my genes.

I ONCE DROVE A BUS

I was stuck driving a bus full of obnoxious teens,

They had all filled up on cans of pork and baked beans,

We hit a bump in the road and that was that,

The windows blew out and the tires went flat,

And, the roof of the bus blasted upwards like a rocket,

I lost both eardrums and one eye from it's socket,

Now, I'm hearing impaired and just have one eye,

And, I won't drive one more bus until the day that I die. 

MOMMA AND I EAT PIE AND THE KIDS EAT BEANS

I feed my family pineapple with pork and beans,

It feeds the little ones through the teens,

But, momma and I,

We eat fruit pie,

So, we're a couple of fats while the kids are all leans.

031321

THE EMPEROR OF BEANS RULES ALL

There is no greater power than the Emperor of Beans,

He has turned the heads and soiled the beds of emperors, kings and queen,

No one can cleanly pass,

His unstable gas,

If that's what the Emperor deems.