BERNIE PULLED HIS SHOESTRINGS TIGHT

Bernie pulled his shoestrings left and right,
To make his tennies fit real tight,
He moved his belt up a notch,
Did the same with his watch,
Bernie turned blue, passed out, what a sight.

HOW I WIDEN MY HIPS

Outside it was lightning and rainy,

And I didn't feel like being brainy,

So I got out some chips,

To widen my big hips,

Watched Housewives, while eyeballs got strainy.