THE GREAT BRATWURST FIRE

I ran out the door because I was not brave,

When my bratwurst caught fire in my microwave,

I blamed it on a mouse,

Chewing wires in the house,

But, the evidence and the house couldn't be saved. 

MY LITTLE TEKKI TORCH

My little tekki torch
I left lit on my porch,
The porch caught fire,
Results were dire,
Nothing survived the scorch.

MY BACK, OLD SHACK AND LEAVES

I'm raking leaves and oh my back,
My chest is feeling heart attack,
There's too many trees around my old shack,
But, if the leaves catch fire then a shack I'll lack,
Still, I'm so tired I'd like to hit the sack,
I'm giving up now for a nap and snack.

I CARVED THE TURKEY

Because of Covid  I could not turkey shop via, a roam,😷

So, I carved my Thanksgiving beast from Dow Styrofoam,🦃

It did not bake but, caught fire,🔥

Burned like a rubber tire,💥♨

Now, I've no turkey, no dinner no home.🏚

GETTING A CLEAR TV SIGNAL

My cable picture is pixeled,

My dish picture's all haze,                

My antennae big booster,          

Boosted my TV with a blaze,

Now, after all of my trouble,

My house lies out in burnt rubble,

It’s a reality show that my neighbors may gaze.

THE PRICE OF VANITY (A LIMERICK)

I hung my own picture on the wall,
It fell on my wood stove and that's not all,
After my nighttime retire,
My picture caught fire,
Now, I live on a bench in the mall.