ZIPPY WINE: POWERED BY ANTIMATTER: ARRIVING AT A STORE NEAR YOU

I am making antimatter in my basement to power my rocket ship,

The energy will power me to fly across the universe zip, zip, zip,

Zippy will be my astronaut name,

Across all worlds I will have fame,

Everywhere, I'll sell my blackberry wine; it's brain quenching for a long trip.

WARNING! U-235 IS NOT FOR WOODSTOVES

I knew my old woodstove would need fuel, if I were to survive,

So I stole fuel from the nuke plant where I work, some uranium--235,

As I was getting very sick,

I threw it in my woodstove, quick

When my eyeballs both leaked out, I knew I was likely not alive.

THE TURTLE FOOT FALSETTO

Billy had turtle feet,

He couldn't dance to a beat,

German opera he could sing,

A falsetto voice, he'd make ring,

Provided Billy had plenty to eat. 

MILK, THE ALTERNATIVE FUEL

There was an inventor whose name was Larry,

He invented a car that ran on dairy,

Cheese, milk, and eggs too,

Made his car cluck, cluck and moo,

But, the price of the fuel made folks wary.