EGGS: NOT FOR DINNER

I bought a dozen large, chicken eggs,

Inside, I found beaks, eyes, guts and legs,

Near as I could tell,

These eggs were not well,

The store won't take them back, though I begs.

HEAT, LIGHTS, TIGHTS AND POO SOAP

The Christmas presents I got, I took back to the store,

I can use the cash from the returns, much, much more,

I can pay my heat and lights,

Maybe, buy new ballet tights,

And some soap, to scrub the dog poo off the floor.

MY SNOWBLOWER WAS NOT "SATISFACTION GUARANTEED".

I bought me a snowblower and it did not work,

I tried taking it back, and it was refused by a clerk,

I demanded to talk to the one in charge,

There is always one of them at large,

That one banned me from the store, and called me a jerk.