HEAT, LIGHTS, TIGHTS AND POO SOAP

The Christmas presents I got, I took back to the store,

I can use the cash from the returns, much, much more,

I can pay my heat and lights,

Maybe, buy new ballet tights,

And some soap, to scrub the dog poo off the floor.

NO EVIDENCE FOR GUINNESS RECORD BOOGER

Johnny picked a giant booger, and that booger was record big,

It was such a giant booger, Johnny really had to dig,

Johnny felt some awful pains,

The booger had grown into his brains,

When the booger finally popped out, it was ate by two Great Danes. 

ICICLES: MY DOGGIE AND THE BEAR

My icicles fell off the roof, 

They melted, so I don't have the proof,

They fell on a big bear,

He gave my doggie a scare,

My doggie gave the bear a "woof, woof".

FEELINGS THE DOG AND BLUE THE CAT

There was a dog named Feelings,
Feelings liked to roll around in the dirt,
His master kept Feelings all penned up,
Because he didn’t want his feelings hurt.

There was a cat named Blue,
He was mean and kind of scary,
Blue would eat only fruit this is true,
Now he looks like a fat blue berry.

MY DOGGIE MAKES MORE MONEY THAN ME🤔

My big doggy, his name is Clark,

He bites neighbors and goes, "Bark! Bark! Bark!"

The cops came to see him one day,

They had a back and forth say,

Now Clark is employed as the neighborhood nark. 

BUTCHER THE BEAGLE LIKED TO EAT FLIES

Butcher the beagle liked to eat flies,
High in protein; those crunchy meat pies,
Once he chomped down on a bee,
Which made Butcher see,
When eating he should open his eyes.

MY LITTLE DOG LEE

I had a feisty Pomeranian named Little Dog Lee,

He would bite down on my pant cuffs and not let them be,

But, when I offered him bacon,

His real desire would awaken,

After that he'd let my pant cuffs hang free.

MY HOUND DOG BIT MY FACE OFF

My dog bit my face off and it was not pleasant,
He can't see too well and thought I a pheasant,
I don't blame him too much,
And, my face needed a touch,
Now, I don't look just like another peasant.

MY DOG CRUSTY (RUSTY)

My dog Crusty,
Once named Rusty,
Will misbehave,
So, he won't bathe,
At best my dog smells musty.