I ONCE BOUGHT STOCKS

I once bought a boat load of stocks,
But, they were all covered with pox,
I lost all my money,
When I told my honey,
They sank my boat at the docks.

My broker sold me some stock,
He said my profits would rock,
My stock started to stink,
My money went down the drink,
I'd like to clean somebody's clock.

P07122022

PAINTING MISHY-MASH

I painted my black and white cat,
He was playing with a squeaky-toy rat,
I sold the painting for big cash,
So, I'm painting more mishy-mash,
I'm living off those with a  wallet that's fat.

72623

HEAD-KNOCKER SUNDIAL

Don gave his head a really bad knock,
When he fell into a sundial clock,
By the time Don's thinking had cleared,
Don had a long beard,
And, the sundial weathered down to a rock. 

CARRIE CHEATS AT CHECKERS

Carrie likes to cheat at checkers,
Making false kings via double-deckers,
If you turn away for a time,
She'll add crowns down the line,
For she's the queen of fair game wreckers.

 

I WENT OUT DIGGING TRUFFLES

I went out digging truffles underneath a big pine tree,

I don't know what a truffle is so I picked what I could see,

I found a bug, a can and snake,

A bottle cap and partial rake,

I wonder which one of my items a pricey truffle be.

IT'S FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH THE LIMERICK

It's Friday the Thirteenth and I can't win,
I'm being visited by a houseful of kin,
They devoured all my steaks,
Leaving me to eat just pancakes,
And, they drank all of my beer, wine, bourbon and gin.

THE TENOR PIG THAT MADE IT BIG

I gave my pig a real fair choice,
Become a ham or use his voice,
His tenor voice was brilliant,
Really opera resilient,
Now, his ride is a custom Rolls Royce. 

YETTI SPAGHETTI MEATBALLS: A MICHIGAN RECEIPE

Danny Dill was a real restaurateur,
He had found an angle; a meat lover’s lure,
Danny Dill hunted the Michigan Yetti,
Then, made Yetti meatballs for his spaghetti,
To Yetti clans Danny Dill was a Cur.

CHICKEN CAM HAM

There once was a chicken named Cam,
She laid eggs that were all full of ham,
But, the pigs on the farm,
Said ham-eggs did them harm,
So, Cam laid eggs full of blueberry jam.

BACTERIA FIT FOR A KING

The king took a drink from his favorite chalice,

But, the drink was filled with a bacterial malice,

The king was a dope,

Didn't like hot water or soap,

So, on porcelain he reigns from the palace.