PORK RINDS AND DOOMSCROLLING, WILL MAKE KAPPIE HAPPY

Kappie is a not too happy boy, a miserable old boy is he,

He always lifts great weights, eats powdered drinks, but real flimsy, Kappie be,

As lonely Kappie grows older,

Girl's reactions, grow colder,

Now that Kappie's past his prime, he should eat pork rind, and doomscroll his tv. 

MARISSA THE TOAD PICKS ON A FAT BEAR

Marissa was a vain and thoughtless young toad,
She was covered with warts as per toad dress code, 
Marissa told a bear he was too fat,
So, he pooped on the toad brat,
Which made Marissa's pretty warts all erode.