They Told Me I Was A Turd, When I Went To Hear The Shakespeare Word,

I went to see some Shakespeare, but they would not let me in, 

They said I was so vile, I belonged in a chamber pot lined with tin,

So, to gain some Shakespeare power,

I went home and took a shower,

When I returned to Shakespeare, the play was cancelled for it's sin.

MARISSA THE TOAD PICKS ON A FAT BEAR

Marissa was a vain and thoughtless young toad,
She was covered with warts as per toad dress code, 
Marissa told a bear he was too fat,
So, he pooped on the toad brat,
Which made Marissa's pretty warts all erode.