STUPID TIME TRAVELER IRONY

Because its hull is made of the cheapest tin,

My quantum time machine, broke down, once again,

A small puncture makes woe,

My machine just won't go,

I won't make the reservation, for my din.

BENNY BUILT A TIME MACHINE

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Benny built a time machine,

But, he benefited not,

For when he went back to change the past,

The future he forgot.
 

I TOOK MY TIME MACHINE BACK TO THE OLD WEST II

When I took my time machine back to the Old West,
I spilled a beer on Doc Holliday's new vest,
Now, he didn't say too much,
But, his bullet was hot to touch,
So, for a doctor I made my next request.

MY TIME LOOP LOOPED ME WRONG

My time loop looped me wrong,

I got stuck singing a grade school song,

I wanted the college scene,

Not the pre-teen in-between,

Now I'm in first grade playing video, Kong.

I CREATED A MULTIVERSE WITHOUT EVEN TRYING

When I time travel the universe splits apart,

Into one that I've changed and one that's the same from my start,

So with this time travel curse,

I've created a multiverse,

This would really hurt my brain if I were smart.

I TRAVELED BACK IN TIME TO MEET LUCY

I went back in time to visit my ancestor named Lucy,

I found her eating a big gander goosey,

She shared her meal,

Of goose and oatmeal,

Then I taught her to dance the watusi.

TIME LOOP FROM HELL

I got caught in a really nasty, bending time loop,

I was stuck in the past when pop was hula hoop,

While, the stuff on TV, 

Made me just want to flee,

And, the food was just crackers and soup.

OPERATIONAL TIME TRAVEL

There's no question that I travel through time,

In the natural order it isn't a crime,

But, the direction I travel seems set in stone,

I can't travel to see skin put back on a bone,

Dinosaur bones I can see rebuilt up to the sky,

But, I can only imagine how they could live and or die,

It seems the direction of time takes me only one way,

I can move towards tomorrow but not yesterday,

You see I have often traveled from what did to what does,

But, I have never traversed from what's now to what was. 

MAKE A BAD YEAR SHORTER

It was awful I couldn't wait for 2020 to end,

I hoped that out of mercy the time rulers would bend,

And make the year shorter,

Maybe by one half or a quarter,

But, all 365 days were drawn out to their end.