THE VOLE AND THE TIKI TORCH

There was a little vole sitting on my porch,

He said he had been chewing on my neighbors tiki torch,

Vole said if he wanted real grub,

He'd chew the bark off my shrub,

He said that tiki flames gave his fur a scorch.

I'M AN UNHAPPY PANSY MAN

I caught a rabbit in my trap,

He started to cry, and I'm a sap,

I let him go,

That so and so,

He ate my pansies, now I'm unhap

LIFE IN THE WOODS

A woody was pecking a hole in my door,

A rat was gnawing up through my vinyl floor,

Then a buck and a doe,

Smashed through my window,

Next came the lion that ate me; now I'm sore.

CHICKEN WIRE IS THE THING

Chicken wire is the thing,

To guard my tulips in the spring,

The rabbit will bite,

But, if the wire is tight,

He'll just bite wire if anything.

I FOUND A FROG IN MY O.J. TODAY

I found a frog in my O.J. today,

And, a worm in my cheese that sat on a tray,

My sandwich had bugs,

My soup was just full of slugs,

 Then, bed bugs swarmed everywhere that I lay.