THE EXTERMINATOR

I am a bedbug exterminator, and bedbugs is all I do,

I exterminate all your bedbugs, so your bugs quit biting on you,

I use a potent spray,

It makes them dead today,

The poison won't harm kids or pets, but it's deadly if you're an emu.  

FOOT CORNS AND AN UGLY PARASITE, REMOVED

Both of my feet were infested with hickory hard, corns,

Yesterday, "they are ready for harvest", my doctor warns,

On this summer, sunshine  day,

The corns were taken away,

Along with a parasite, that had sharp teeth and long horns.

SWATER HOUSE DIVE

They enter unseen, into my small, dark dump, to die,

I am talking about the vicious, common house fly,

I let fly paper hang,

My fly zapper, goes bang,

I love to swat them flat, then leave the fly guts to dry.

I CAUGHT THE ITCH AT THE GROCERY STORE

I searched for a great bargain price,

On cereal that was a poofed kind of rice,

I found nothing cheap,

So I stormed home in my jeep,

Scratching my hairs that incubated head lice.

PIG MITES

There were little mites that lived on my pig,

They were irritating, so in mud my pig would dig,

But to even the score,

The mites would bite more,

Now some mites colonized my best wig.