MA AND HER BANNED BOY WORDS

When I woke and worked out, my big mouth got me constantly canned,

Now my foul tongue waving, language, got this internet boy, banned,

The public says I speak turds,

But, my ma taught me my words,

How ma could be so wrong in her thinking, I don't understand.

NED SMELLS ALONE

Ned could smell a person flagellate, from across the sea,

Ned could tell if they be flagellating their meds, or meals, or tea,

Ned never kept his friends,

They broke up because of ends,

Ned couldn't keep his mouth shut, and let the flagellation be.

THE WORST CHRISTMAS CARD I'VE EVER SEEN, BUT IT'S THE ONLY ONE I GOT

Christmas cards I did not get,

Except for one that looked like twit,

Whatever sap

Drew such crap,

I think that art, they'd better quit.