NED SMELLS ALONE

Ned could smell a person flagellate, from across the sea,

Ned could tell if they be flagellating their meds, or meals, or tea,

Ned never kept his friends,

They broke up because of ends,

Ned couldn't keep his mouth shut, and let the flagellation be.

FREE PORK FROM THE EX

Steve knew his stomach was troubled,
As it perked, gurgled and bubbled,
He ate rancid pork that was free,
From former wife named Kaylee,
Now, his bathroom trips have more than doubled.