MY ROBOT'S NAME IS NED

My robot's name is Ned,

He's a help unless his battery goes dead,

He is average at checkers,

But, makes turkey-club double-deckers,

I keep him charged or the kids won't get fed.

MY FOOD JUST SITS AS A TEASE

My carving knife is too dull to cut cheese,
My steak knife won't cut steak or green peas,
My sharpener is on the fritz,
It is broken into bits,
Now all my food just sits as a tease.