LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR

My neighbor weaponized my shovel, and attacked some small ants,

The ants were little red biters, and ran up my neighbor's pants,

Like a bloody, daft fool,

He jumped into my pool,

After my neighbor's rescue, I lectured him on cans and can'ts.  

THE BEAR SQUIRREL

My friend looks like a big bear and thinks like a dumb squirrel,

He forgets where he puts things like, the thing that makes his hair curl,

He remembers stuff wrong,

Like the words to a song,

And, clams give him the runs and the hurls.