THE SCRATCHING COW THAT WAITED

My cow always sat on the railroad tracks, waiting for a train,

I decided what my cow needed, was the transplant of a brain,

I chose the brain from my hound dog, Patches,

I didn't like him, on account he scratches,

My cow don't sit on the tracks, but when she scratches, what a pain.

THE BEAR SQUIRREL

My friend looks like a big bear and thinks like a dumb squirrel,

He forgets where he puts things like, the thing that makes his hair curl,

He remembers stuff wrong,

Like the words to a song,

And, clams give him the runs and the hurls.