TP AND HARD TIMES

I confiscated the contraband I found in my yard,

It was 2 years worth of wet toilet paper I didn't discard,

I dried it out with gas heat,

And, I saved every sheet,

I try to find any savings, times are hard.

TAINTING THEN PAINTING: OYSTERS FOR SUPPER

I served some oysters that were tainted,

Result, my toilets my kinfolk painted,

Then, as my home filled with vapors,

I had to go buy toilet papers,

At last, with sights and smells, I done well fainted.

WHEN THE PRICE OF TOILET PAPER IS JUST TOO HIGH

All the people are oh so pensive,

Because toilet paper is so expensive,

The financial frustration,

Has caused herd constipation,

With flagellation being offensive.