THE VEGGIE BURGER

I bit into a big bun hamburger, but no beef was there,

I like tasting cow blood; I like my hamburger, living rare,

The burger was a veggie,

I became a tad edgy,

I threw the burger on the ground, and people gave me a stare.

BAD MEAT SUBSTITUTE DUMPED INTO A STEW

My plant based protein tasted like glue,

I shouldn't have bought it, but who knew?

I fried it in a pan,

It turned brown from tan,

I mixed it with veggies, now I call it a stew.

SOY IS SO RICH, YET IT MAKES ME SO POOR

I went down the road to the store, to get me some soy,

I found lots of products, making me one happy boy,

I found soy that was gooey,

And soy nuts that were chewy,

And the price that I paid, filled the owner with joy.

Artificial Turkey Meat

I'm eating artificial meat,

It tastes like turkey; at least the feet,

It chews like gum,

That's been shared with some,

And, the smell is like a condemned toilet seat.

VEGAN NACHO TOMATO PASTE

My friend Carey gave me some vegan nacho tomato paste,

She made it from scrapings from her yard, garden waste,

I don't know what her yard, garden grows,

But, it ran out my nose,

And, left me with a rotten veggie, bitter fungal yard taste.