I TRIED TO EAT MY BOOKCASE

I got so hungry I ate my furniture, but the varnish made me sick,

The varnish slowed my heartbeat way, way down, until it barely made a tick,

Then there was a hard, long, splintered, sliver,

That pierced my intestines and my liver,

Still, I know furniture must be edible, I just haven't found the trick.

I TOOK A PASS AT EATING SWEET GRASS

Someone gave me some green grass to eat,

Couldn't eat it, because it was too sweet,

So I cast it on the fire,

Then things became real dire,

Both of my hands became rabbit feet.