THE ALPHA MALE AND HIS TINY THINGS

I do not like bacteria, I do not like them one and all,

They make my belly really sick, and make my little sister ball,

Daddy brings them home from work,

He won't wash his hands, the drunken jerk,

He claims he's an alpha male, and bacteria is their card of call.

THEY CALL ME FLASHLIGHTER

I cannot seem to ever obtain,

Fuel for my lighter that flash burns butane,

So I tried a fuel that was clean,

It was high octane gasoline,

I now live in an asylum for the  insane.