THEY'RE NOT ALWAYS YOUR NEPHEW

There was an obese hominid, living in my maple tree,

He said that I was his uncle, he then called me, Uncle Lee,

I said, "that can't be,

It's science, you see,

Because you're an ugly hominid, and I'm a cute monkey."

MY SHORT HAIRED DOG GOT RABIES, SO I BOUGHT A HAIRY ONE

I once had a Boston terrier,

He was a big rabies carrier,

He foamed at the mouth,

Took off, going south,

I bought a collie, much hairier.