THE PEEP CREEPS ARE COMING

The thing about the marshmallow peeps,

When I'm shopping them, I shop for keeps,

The day that comes after Sunday,

Is the day they call Monday,

When they mark down the peeps for us creeps.

CHICKEN OR AN EGG

I went to Miami and bought me some eggs,

I cracked one open, and got a beak and two legs,

Two eyes were staring at me,

So, I fried it all in ghee,

And fed the lot to my dog, Little Megs.

BULGING BUNS: BOB AND HIS DESK JOB

Bob had a desk job in his chair he would stay,
But, a big problem arose one terrible day,
Bob couldn't walk through a door because his rear was so wide,
In order to pass through Bob had to turn to his side,

In order to shrink his enormous rear,
Bob had to stop consuming his baked beans and beer,
So, Bob changed his diet and shed many a tear,
After consuming just salads for a whole year,

Bob's buns became buff and the chicks called him dear,
But, re-bulging buns will make Bob live in fear.