BULGING BUNS: BOB AND HIS DESK JOB

Bob had a desk job in his chair he would stay,
But, a big problem arose one terrible day,
Bob couldn't walk through a door because his rear was so wide,
In order to pass through Bob had to turn to his side,

In order to shrink his enormous rear,
Bob had to stop consuming his baked beans and beer,
So, Bob changed his diet and shed many a tear,
After consuming just salads for a whole year,

Bob's buns became buff and the chicks called him dear,
But, re-bulging buns will make Bob live in fear.

FEELINGS THE DOG AND BLUE THE CAT

There was a dog named Feelings,
Feelings liked to roll around in the dirt,
His master kept Feelings all penned up,
Because he didn’t want his feelings hurt.

There was a cat named Blue,
He was mean and kind of scary,
Blue would eat only fruit this is true,
Now he looks like a fat blue berry.

LITTLE SAGAN WAS A PAGAN WITH A FIRE BREATHING DRAGON

Little Sagan was a pagan who preached out in the woods,
Little Sagan had a dragon to protect his most valuable goods,
Along came three robbers full of dare,
They could rob anyone, they proclaimed everywhere,
But, when the robbers robbed little Sagan
They encountered his fire breathing dragon,
The robbers were each a dunce,
The dragon exhaled only once,
The robbers decided the fire they’d dare,
But, when the smoke cleared the robbers weren’t there.

MR. MITCHELL'S CUPCAKES LIMERICK

Mitchell and his cousin owned a lot of land,
So, they opened up a big box cup cake stand,
Mitchell sold only a few dozen,
But, between him and his cousin,
They each developed a diabetic gland.

NEW MOON FEBRUARY 2012 LIMERICK

The new moon in February 2012,
Tells the psychics to put the month on the shelve,
It may be a great year,
But, February’s days are not dear,
These days should be flushed through the septic tank valve.

COME THE GREAT POST APOCALYPSE OF 2012

Come the great post apocalypse of 2012,
I’ll get my meals ready to eat dinners off the shelve,
I will survive many years,
Though I’ll cry many tears,
So, into the past I must resolve not to delve.

WATCH FOR THE MONTH CALLED 2012-12 LIMERICK

Watch out for the month called 2012-12,
For most this warning is one they will shelve,
On the 21st of December,
All will then remember,
This warning upon which nobody would delve.