FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH THE LIMERICKS

It's Friday the 13th and all fear they'll be dead,

So, they start off the morning by wetting to bed,

For they are afraid of the creep,

Who'll give them grave sleep,

After the creep machetes off their pretty head.

BABIES AND BABIES AND ZOMBIES, I DIED

The stork brought babies and babies,

My pet rat came down with the rabies,

My skin was all covered with scabies,

It was the darkest and darkest of days

A raccoon got into the henhouse,

My mommy ran off with my ex-spouse,

My kid went to jail; got a de-louse,

It was the darkest and darkest of days,

My car ran over nails in the driveway,

I did not find out till the highway,

I spun off a bridge into a skyway,

It was the darkest and darkest of days,

I landed on rocks sticking up near the shoreline,

Sharks swam around me, waitng to fine dine,

My bones were all broke, I was not fine,

It was the darkest and darkest of days,

I closed my eyes and then I soon died,

Awoke in a world of zombies, and I couldn't hide,

They ate my face, my feet, and backside,

It was the darkest and darkest of days.

I BROKE MY TEABAG

My teabag breaks and spoils my drink,
I don't drink my tea so, all day I couldn't think,
I did try a Coke,
But, the Coke bottle broke,
When it went down the disposal in the sink.