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Showing posts with label BAD PETS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BAD PETS. Show all posts

Sunday, March 27, 2022

I GOT BIT BY MY PET BRAIN EATING ZOMBIE SQUIRREL TODAY

HOW I BECAME A ZOMBIE
My pet brain eating zombie squirrel bit me earlier today,
My nose is runny with some goopy green stuff and my skin is turning real gray,
I am having terrible headaches and my stomach has horrific hunger pains,
I think the only way to cure this malady is by eating someone else’s brains.

Monday, April 26, 2021

MY HAMSTER IN SPACE

I gave a bath to my hamster one fine day,
Next day, he got revenge in his own way,
When I gave my fella a little hand stroke,
His sharp teeth gave my hand a really deep poke,

Blood spurted and spurted all over the floor,
All over the doorknob as I rushed out the door,
I grabbed my cell phone and the ambulance came quick,
Then, it was off to the hospital; the sight of blood made me sick,

Luckily, the bleeding was quickly stopped,
A single small bandage covered the vein that was popped,
After a week in the hospital I was all healed,
The little scab under the bandage was easily peeled,

At home my hamster had taken over my house,
He chased off the dog and ate my pet grouse,
He ripped up my newspapers and made a nest in my bed,
Increasing I wished that my hamster was dead,

Of course, I decided to serve up revenge that was ice cold,
I developed a plan that was clever and bold,
To this hamster I was especially nice,
I spoke in soft words and bought him toys so high priced,

Then, when the hamster thought I'd  not seek retribution,
It was time for my plan to achieve institution,
Of course sweet revenge is what I sought and I got,
For I volunteered my hamster to be a deep space astronaut.