PLANT CLOSURES AND THE PURLOINED TOILET PAPER

The plant shut down and Dan was sent out the door,

He purloined some bath tissue to even the score,

But, he was caught with his booty,

And, the police got real shooty,

Now, Dan is worm food and he'll be nothing more. 

SOMEONE STOLE MY LUNCHBOX

I'm kind of a saver, clever fox,
Saving money by taking my lunch,
But, each day my lunchbox was stolen,
Along with my thermos full of punch,

I tried to protect my black lunch box,
And, I was not very vague,
I had written on it in red marker,
"BELONGS TO VICTIM OF BUBONIC PLAGUE,"

But, my lunchbox still went missing,
Along with my thermos full of punch,
Now, it's restaurant soup I am kissing,
And, my budget has suffered a crunch.