THE BLACK BEAR POEM

Yesterday I had a scare,
I ran into a big black bear,
He was 500 lbs of brawny muscle,
I didn't feel so well after our tussle,
But, my bones will mend and my scars will heal,
The best thing of all is I was not a meal.

BEAT BY WALL STREET

Because I invest with a Wall Street bank,
I should not be upset when my savings tank,
Their advice is often really rank,
They trade against me; they’re such a skank,

My broker is drinking imported booze,
While he tells me the really bad news,
He gets out a gun and says “Beat it, you loose,
If you don’t leave now I’ll call the cops if I choose”,

Now while my broker vacations in Rome,
He spends all my money; that little gnome,
I thought I’d retire to a really nice home,
Instead I’ll be buried in a casket of foam.

SOMEONE STOLE MY LUNCHBOX

I'm kind of a saver, clever fox,
Saving money by taking my lunch,
But, each day my lunchbox was stolen,
Along with my thermos full of punch,

I tried to protect my black lunch box,
And, I was not very vague,
I had written on it in red marker,
"BELONGS TO VICTIM OF BUBONIC PLAGUE,"

But, my lunchbox still went missing,
Along with my thermos full of punch,
Now, it's restaurant soup I am kissing,
And, my budget has suffered a crunch.