SAND AND STONE BROKE GUTS AND BONE

I got into my Chevy truck, and drove on down the road,

I opened up my flip phone, and entered my access code,

I called the wife, said I was working late,

Called my girlfriend, set a dinner date,

Then I died when I hit the truck, that hauled a gravel load.

I CREATE CONSPIRACY THEORIES, BECAUSE I AM EVIL AND MEAN

I love spreading conspiracy theories,

They scare both enemies and dearies,

"Spaceships invade,"

"There's a Bigfoot parade,"

Just say it, there's no need for queries

The Deceit That Cost Me Toes

There was a volcano down the street

It burnt my shoelaces; burnt off my feet,

Because when the lava flows,

If you don't run you lose toes,

Donald said things were fine but, that was a deceit.