I AM A CRIMINAL INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER

I became a reporter because I like to snoop,

I've always looked for the juiciest scoop,

Like the two bears in the woods,

Who ate Ridding Hoods,

I exposed them with the bones, I found in their poop.

I CREATE CONSPIRACY THEORIES, BECAUSE I AM EVIL AND MEAN

I love spreading conspiracy theories,

They scare both enemies and dearies,

"Spaceships invade,"

"There's a Bigfoot parade,"

Just say it, there's no need for queries