ON THE COMPANY DIME, MARS WAS A GOOD TIME

I rode a great big spaceship all the way to Mars,

To write an article on their electric cars,

I went to my Martian hotel,

To rest there for a little spell,

Then I went out to the Martian nightclubs and bars.

JIM WILL BE SQUATTING WITHOUT ANY BLUE BALLS.

Jim is just a squatter on this little blue ball, earth,

Jim squats, and squats, and squats, and grows a bigger girth, 

One day Jim will galaxy away,

Where there's mean, Jim will not stay,

Then Jim will squat again, just like a brand new birth.

EPITAPH OF THE PLASTIC FACE RACE

There once was a planet, way out in space,

They loved their plastics, even put them in their face,

But plastic poisons the inside,

All life died, planet wide, 

That's how it ended, for the human race.