MY JACK CAME LOOSE

I rotated my tires and you want to know what?

My jack came loose and I got pinned cross the gut,

Although I felt massive pain,

I kept steady my brain,

And, did not lose a single lug nut.

DRAT! I'M NOT A NUGGET

I tested my dogs DNA and found out he is a cat,

I tested my kitties DNA and found out she is a bat

So then, I tested my own,

I found out I'm just a limestone,

I had hoped I was a gold nugget so, drat! 

A LIMERICK WITH NO MEANING BUT, IT RHYMES

Recces Roy set cans on fire,
They were garbage cans full of plastic wire,
He got away and then found,
The plastic wire underground,
Such groups signal a future that's dire.